When Who You Were Isn’t Who You Are Now

There’s a moment that comes for many women over 55—and maybe it’s come for you—when you stop and ask yourself, Who am I now?

It can happen quietly after the kids move out, or suddenly on your last day of work. The roles that once defined you—mother, partner, professional, caregiver—have shifted, maybe even disappeared. And what’s left in the silence can be unsettling.

If you’re feeling this way, first know this: you are not alone.

And second: this is not the end. It’s a beginning.

The Disorientation of Transition

We spend decades living through and serving others—raising families, building careers, caring for loved ones. And while those seasons are meaningful, they can also crowd out our own identities. So when the house is quiet or the calendar is suddenly blank, it’s no wonder it can feel like part of you is missing or lost. 

Research shows that women in midlife and beyond often face identity disruption during transitional periods like retirement or empty-nesting, which can lead to lower self-esteem and a sense of purposelessness (Lachman, 2015). But here’s the good news: identity is not fixed. It’s something we can shape, evolve, and redefine.

Purpose Isn’t Behind You—It’s Ahead

You may have heard the term “second act,” but I prefer to call this stage a rebirth. It’s your time to reconnect with parts of yourself that were set aside, or discover passions you never had the time or space to explore.

A recent study from the Journal of Adult Development found that engaging in new learning, creative activities, or community service significantly improves psychological well-being for women in later adulthood (Greenfield & Marks, 2020). Translation? Curiosity, creativity, and connection aren’t just fun—they’re fuel for this next chapter.

How I Help Women Like You

As a life coach, I walk alongside women who are ready to explore this new territory. Together, we:

• Reclaim your identity—not as a role you play for others, but as a whole, evolving person.

• Uncover what truly lights you up—creatively, emotionally, spiritually.

• Create a new vision for your life based on joy, fulfillment, and you-defined purpose.

  
  

And it’s not just about setting goals (though we’ll do that too). It’s about honoring your past while stepping boldly into a future that feels like yours.

A New Chapter Is Waiting

You’ve lived through enough to know that life doesn’t always follow the script. But this chapter? You get to write it. And with the wisdom you now have, the possibilities are limitless!

If you’re feeling uncertain, disconnected, or simply ready for something more, I’d love to connect. Reach out to me directly by message or schedule a no-pressure chat at beckisalzman.com. Let’s talk about what’s next—and how I can support you in stepping into it with clarity and confidence.

References:

• Lachman, M.E. (2015). Mind the gap in the middle: A call to study midlife. Research in Human Development, 12(3–4), 327–334. https://doi.org/10.1080/15427609.2015.1068043

• Greenfield, E.A., & Marks, N.F. (2020). Engaging in meaningful activities and purpose in life: Examining the role of identity. Journal of Adult Development, 27(4), 236–247. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-019-09342-7

• Moen, P. (2016). Encore adulthood: Boomers on the edge of risk, renewal, and purpose. Oxford University Press.