Screw the Rut—How Vacation Shoved Me Back into My Own Damn Life

Let’s set the scene. For months, I’d been moving through life like a damn fog machine—on, automatic, producing a haze no one asked for. Between leading teams, holding space for clients, and parenting adult kids who know pain better than they should, I kept telling myself, “This too shall pass.” (Spoiler: sometimes, it just circles back for a second, third, fourth lap.)

And you know what? All the while I was preaching about breaking free from the post-menopausal rut and reclaiming joy, somewhere along the line I let my own spark slip quietly into the background. I kept waving the “live fully again!” flag in my blogs, but my actual day-to-day? Less alive, more autopilot zombie. Cue the twisted irony.​

Enter: vacation. Picture me—sunburned, grinning like a lunatic, sand and salt water in my hair, actually present for sunsets and laughter. For the first time in ages, I returned to myself. Not the always-on-duty mom, not the gritty leader, not the solutions machine. Just me—soul, body, spirit.

Here’s the kicker—I realized the kind of neglect I’d accepted as “normal” was damn near sabotage. My body craved rest, decent food, and movement that didn’t start with “I’ll just…” My mind needed more than late-night doomscrolling and self-critique. Believe me, that little voice piping up “You should practice what you preach” gets real loud when you’re actually relaxed.

So, what the f*%k do we do when we realize we’ve abandoned ourselves? We put a damn stop to it.

How I’m Dragging Myself Back from the Edge (And You Can Too):

• Protect your energy like it’s a winning lottery ticket—because it is. Seriously, give less of a shit about what drains you.

• Start your morning with a gut check. If you wake up feeling like you’re already drowning, it’s your cue. Call a timeout, reschedule something, move your body. Sweat and stubbornness both count.

• Give yourself one honest compliment a day, preferably first thing in the morning when you see your gorgeous self in the mirror. (Yeah, I see you rolling your eyes—do it anyway, dammit.)

• Create boundaries that actually stay up. Start by practicing saying “No, thanks” in the mirror until you almost believe it.

• Don’t save self-care for vacation. Steal it in daily moments—hell, even five minutes in a locked bathroom counts.

• Let’s stop letting “busy” or “needed” be our only identity, shall we? Your team needs you vibrant, your kids need you present, and you deserve more than running on caffeine and fumes. It took leaving my own damn house to learn that, but you don’t have to.

Drop a comment: When did YOU last realize you’d disappeared? What brought you back? How are you giving life the middle finger and saying yes to yourself? And listen, if you want to talk to another recovering-people-pleaser who’s been there and climbed out, let’s connect—no strings, no BS: beckisalzman.com/booking.